Keep Holiday Drama to a Minimum This Year For most people, the holidays are a time of happiness and family. But for those who are divorced or separated or contemplating a divorce, the holiday season may present many challenges. It is important to keep the holiday drama to a minimum and put the child’s best interests first this holiday season.For many children of split homes, the holidays may mean (a) splitting their time between their parents; (b) being in the midst of their parent’s arguments regarding scheduling of time with the child; (c) stressing about the interaction between the parents as they meet to drop off/pick up the child; (d) missing time with other family members because it is time to go with the other parent; (e) leaving the fun at one house and possibly missing the fun at the other house; (f) not being involved in traditions; and (g) simply being sad that the child cannot spend the holidays with both parents simultaneously. Despite the relationship between you and your spouse/former spouse, once you have children, their interests are to come first. The child should not feel anxiety or stress because a holiday is approaching and they should not be aware of the parents anxiety or stress. Parents should consider what would make the child happy, not what will anger the other parent most. Remember, that these are lifelong memories that are being built and your child may not remember all of the details of the holidays, but will remember how he/she felt and whether his/her parent made them feel that way. While your relationship and divorce may be contentious, try to set that aside and focus on your child. Is it best for the child to alternate years with each parent, spending the time between Christmas and New Year’s with one parent one year and the other parent the following year? Or is it better to split the holidays so that the child spends half the holiday week with one parent and half with the other? Or would it be better for each parent to take certain holidays to share with the child rather than shuffling the child mid-day? Would your child be happier to share the day of the holiday, with one parent having the child in the morning and the other having the child in the evening? Are you able to both be in the same place at the same time with the child on the holiday? There are many factors to consider in creating a parenting plan. The primary factor being what is best for the child. Schedules must be coordinated and worked out, but creating experiences with the child that the child will remember and look back on happily, is the ultimate goal. So as the holidays approach, do not let your feelings for your former spouse cloud your judgment. Think of what will make your child(ren) happiest. Donath Law, LLC can assist you in preparing and modifying your parenting plan to put your child’s interests first. and allow you to be the parent you want to be this holiday and for all future holidays. |
Poor Performance Review … What is the True Motivation?

Most employees receive written performance reviews on a bi-annual or annual basis. The purpose of these reviews should be to set goals, keep track of employee progress by measuring objective criteria, set out resources, train employees, motivate poor performers to do better and to determine proper raises or bonuses. This is not always the case.
Mediation – A Helpful Tool in Resolving Divorces and Workplace Disputes
Mediation is a non-binding, voluntary process where both parties must be interested in achieving resolution. It can be a helpful tool in conflict resolution, both in the workplace and for spouses looking to divorce or separate. However, mediation is not the proper forum for everyone.
Mediation is successful if the parties want to be a part of the process and are serious about resolving their differences. In mediation, the parties meet with a mediator. The mediator is there to facilitate resolution. The mediator cannot force resolution, but will help the parties come up with alternatives and options with a goal of reaching agreement.
Divorce mediation is the preferred choice for couples facing separation and/or divorce because it is a more amicable, faster and cheaper process than litigation. It offers couples more control over the process and the decision-making, allowing for more flexibility and cooperation in determining, among others: Equitable Distribution of Assets and Property, Custody, Child Support, and Maintenance. Divorce mediation allows couples to structure their divorce differently than if they went to court. The parties are made aware of the guidelines for child support and spousal maintenance, but have the option to opt out of these guidelines and decide together the amount of these payments. The parties can work together to determine a parenting plan and custody arrangements that best suits their child(ren) and their life. Aside from the flexibility in structuring the divorce and distribution of assets and liabilities, the cost of divorce is a fraction of the cost as compared to a contested litigation.
Mediation can also be a helpful tool in workplace disputes. Prior to commencing litigation, the parties should consider mediation, as it is generally faster and the parties, as stated above, have more control over the process. Some employers have policies requiring mediation prior to litigation or arbitration. A good mediator, is aware of the law and attempts to settle the underlying issues that have arisen. The parties will make the mediator aware of the circumstances, the efforts, if any, that have been made to resolve the situation and the proposed resolution. The mediator will work to try and facilitate resolution and at the same time provide his/her insight into the strengths and weaknesses of the claims.
Mediation is generally not successful if the parties are not both on board. If the parties are not truly interested in resolving the situation, the mediation will most likely fail. If mediation is being used as a tool to humiliate, intimidate or deplete a parties’ assets, the mediation should not move forward or should be halted quickly. In situations where there are orders of protection or claims of domestic violence, mediation is not the proper forum for divorce. Parties should not move forward with mediation if one party is overbearing or controlling.
In all situations, should resolution be reached the agreed upon terms should be subscribed to writing and provided to the parties for both to have reviewed by an attorney and signed. A copy of the agreement should be kept by both parties so that they are both aware of their obligations.
In a truly success mediation, the parties are slightly unhappy but happy that the matter has been resolved. Why? Because mediation is a compromise by the parties. One party agrees to give in to one item in order to obtain another, or one party paid more money than they wanted to the other party but the other party is disappointed because he/she wanted more than what was to be received. Overall, the parties are satisfied with the outcome because the issues have been addressed and settled. Both parties have had the opportunity to speak, be heard, and stand up for what he/she believes and wants.
Legal Separation v. Divorce: Find Out the Difference
Are you unhappy in your marriage? Is marriage not what you expected or is it no longer working for you and your spouse? Don’t worry, you have options. It is difficult to make the decision to end a marriage and it is a decision that should not be taken lightly. It is for this reason, among others, that before taking that drastic step, many couples decide to first experience life apart through a legal separation.
Legal separation provides couples an opportunity to live apart from each other and at the same time sets out the rights and responsibilities for each spouse. This includes, items such as child custody, child support, spousal support/maintenance and property division. A legal separation is a legally binding document that a married couple enters into to decide the terms of their separation without ending their marriage. Once entered into, the couple is still legally married but is also considered separate in the eyes of the law.
A legal separation can be accomplished through a written agreement by the parties or by going to court and requesting a judgment of separation.
The main difference between legal separation and divorce is that a legal separation does not actually dissolve the marriage and the parties are still considered legally married and therefore cannot get remarried.
Legal separation offers advantages to the couple. Specifically:
(1) It allows the couple to see how their current problems and relationship is affected by living apart so that they can determine if they want to reconcile or they want to officially end their marriage and file for divorce. If they choose to reconcile, there is no need to remarry.
(2) It is generally a more amicable process and may have less of a tumultuous effect on the couple’s child(ren).
(3) A legal separation can be highly advantageous in protecting both spouses’ entitlement to benefits. Since the couple is still married, the couple maintains their married status and benefits like health plan coverage that would likely terminate upon divorce generally will continue. Spouses who are married for at least ten years are generally eligible for certain Social Security Benefits and for benefits under the Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act. There may also be tax benefits.
(4) Some couples choose legal separation as an alternative to divorce for religious and/or moral reasons.
(5) While divorce can be an amicable process, a majority of divorce proceedings are long, drawn out, expensive litigations. Divorce battles, more often than legal separation cases, can be hostile. This can rack up large attorneys’ fees and court costs.
(6) Obtaining a legal separation generally does not disrupt life and work the way a divorce battle can. Both spouses can continue to function normally in their daily lives without the stress, emotional turmoil and time requirements that can come with drawn-out divorce cases.
(7) Another benefit is that once a legal separation is complete, the legal work involved in coming to an agreement can be used during the divorce process, since the rights and responsibilities of the parties during the separation can be converted into post-divorce obligations.
While legal separation offers many advantages, divorce may be the only option for some couples. Ultimately the decision of legal separation versus divorce comes down to the circumstances involved in the marriage. A legal separation will still keep the couple married, and if a spouse wants to marry someone else they have to file for divorce.
School music judge wonders if ‘contractor’ label is right
I was quoted in today’s Newsday article by Carrie Mason-Draffen. See the article below:
DEAR CARRIE: I am a member of the New York State School Music Association, or NYSSMA, which is an organization dedicated to advancing music education in school systems across the state. Every spring, NYSSMA sponsors evaluation festivals during which students perform and then receive ratings and written comments about their musical proficiency. I am one of the many judges for the various festivals. NYSSMA conducts the judges’ training, formulates the scheduling, determines how the performances are scored, and sets the hourly pay rate. Yet it reminds us at the beginning of every season that we are independent contractors. How can this be? — Sour Note
DEAR SOUR: Based on the information you provided, it’s possible you are being misclassified as an independent contractor, said employment lawyer Sheree Donath of Donath Law in Uniondale.
A lot is at stake in classifying workers. Employees, unlike independent contractors, may qualify for their employers’ health benefits, paid time off and pension contributions, as well as state unemployment benefits should they lose their jobs, Donath said. For employers, hiring independent contractors means they forgo all those expenses and more.
“Many organizations like to hire workers as independent contractors rather than employees to avoid making payment of benefits and taxes,” she said. “For this reason, many workers are misclassified as independent contractors.”
Employers can’t just declare someone an independent contractor. By law, many criteria must be met. And at least three government agencies have guidelines for determining an employee’s status, and they all look at the issue of control.
The New York State Department of Labor looks at whether the employer controls such things as: the work to be performed, the rate of pay and the hours of work. The department also looks at who supervises the independent contractor and whether the company requires the contractor’s exclusive service.
True independent contractors control their working environment, Donath said. And they are free to work for several businesses. They can accept or reject certain projects and may have their own business.
The U.S. Department of Labor uses determining factors that include: whether the work is an integral part of the employer’s business; whether the employer controls the work; whether the independent contractors’ managerial skills affect their bottom line; whether the work performed requires special skill and initiative, and whether the relationship between the worker and the employer is indefinite.
The IRS guidelines look at the relationship of the employer and independent contractor to determine such things as behavioral and financial controls and the nature of the relationship.
With the behavioral factor, Donath said, the key question is: Does the company control or have the right to control what the worker does and how that person does his or her job? For the financial element the agency looks at whether the business aspects of the independent contractor’s job are controlled by the employer, she said. These include things like how worker is paid, whether expenses are reimbursed and who provides the tools and supplies. Lastly, the federal agency looks at broader aspects of the relationship such as whether a contract is involved and whether employee-type benefits are offered.
So you need to answer some key questions about your work arrangement to determine your true status, Donath said. For example, are you required to work at every festival or can you choose which festivals to judge? Are the supplies provided for you or do you provide your own? Do you receive any benefits from NYSSMA? Can you decide what training to attend? And are you able to promote your own business while judging at the festival?
“I suggest that you consult with an experienced attorney to determine if you are being classified improperly and to find out your rights and options,” she said.
Surprise Inspection of Your Home Office May be Legal
We were quoted in today’s Newsday! Check out the article below:
DEAR CARRIE: I work for a large insurance company in Manhattan. Many departments have had informal work-at-home policies since superstorm Sandy, when our offices were flooded. The company is now instituting a formal work-at-home program, since we will be moving to a smaller space with no personal desks. So we will be required to work from home several days a week. We have to sign an agreement laying out the rules for working at home.
I have questions about the legality of two aspects of the agreement: Can the company legally conduct surprise inspections of our home workspaces? And if company equipment such as a laptop is stolen from our homes, can our employer make us replace it at our own cost? – Home, Sweet Office
DEAR HOME: As to your first point, your employer can conduct surprise inspections if it has your written permission, said employment attorney Sheree Donath [ ].
“In order to have such right, the employer must obtain the consent of the employee and does so in a written telecommuter agreement,” Donath said.
Though the inspections seem intrusive, companies have reasons for inspecting their employees’ home offices, said Donath, who noted the following from the website of the U.S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration, which oversees workplace safety:
“Employers are responsible in home worksites for hazards caused by materials, equipment, or work processes which the employer provides or requires to be used in an employee’s home.”
Yet the agency doesn’t inspect home offices and doesn’t require companies to do so, she said.
But employers conduct inspections because they may still be liable for unsafe working conditions in an employee’s home, as well as any workers’ compensation claims, Donath said. “For this reason, many employers include in agreements with their employees that they have the right to inspect the home.”
The inspections would be illegal if a company uses them to target a certain group of employees, she said. For example, “it cannot require all women employees to agree to allow surprise inspections of their home-based offices and not require the same of men.”
As with any agreement, an employee may be able to request more satisfactory terms, Donath said. “The employee is free to negotiate the inspections with the employer; so maybe instead of surprise inspections, the employer will agree to biannual inspections.”
Or she said the company might agree to provide the employee with a packet of information, including a checklist of the employer’s health and safety concerns, that the employee can use as a guide to resolve any problems.
Regarding your question about whether your employer can make you pay for company equipment stolen from your home, state law generally prohibits employers from deducting such costs from employees’ wages and from demanding separate payments to cover such costs. Your employer may be able to fire you for such a loss, but it can’t take that cost out of your wages.
Donath notes that such losses may be covered under your homeowner insurance policy.
Go to bit.ly/LIoffice for more on OSHA regulations regarding home offices.
Column by CARRIE MASON-DRAFFEN
Law Protects Workers’ Right to Share Pay, Evaluation Info
We were quoted today in Newsday:
DEAR CARRIE: My employer sent my performance evaluation by email. It states that I must not share the information with my co-workers. The company also says we cannot share compensation information. Is this legal? Also, does my employer need to send me a hard copy of my evaluation or is the email sufficient? – Evaluating the Process
DEAR EVALUATING: Your employer’s restrictive policy may be out of bounds. The federal regulation that comes into play here protects workers’ right to talk about such things and prohibits employers from obstructing such discussions, especially among employees who are considering unionizing.
“The National Labor Relations Act prevents employers from establishing policies that would prohibit employees from discussing and disclosing information regarding their own terms and conditions of employment,” said employment attorney Sheree Donath. “Employees must be free to organize, and preventing discussions about the terms and conditions of employment among coworkers could prevent them from organizing.”
And regarding your situation, she added, “An employee may be able to challenge the confidential nature of the performance evaluation, the same as the requirement to keep his/her compensation secret.”
Of course, as with any law, there are some exceptions.
For example, employers may be able to prohibit discussions when the employee is supposed to be working, Donath said.
“However, if the employee would be able to make small talk about the weather, or television or anything else, then the employee would be free to speak about the terms and conditions of his/her employment,” Donath said.
Also, the NLRA applies to discussions within the organization only, she noted; so an employer may be able to establish a policy that prohibits employees from sharing the information with people outside the organization.
Even though you may have the freedom to discuss your wages or compensation, you should be careful how you use that freedom.
“Once you share information related to your compensation or the terms of your employment,” Donath said, “it may become difficult for you to maintain control over others with this information.”
Employers often have confidentiality policies that prohibit employees from sharing certain information with their colleagues, Donath said. Companies establish these policies in an attempt to control the working relationship, she said.
“Employers also seek to implement such policies in an effort to prevent a disruptive working environment,” she said. “In creating these policies, the company knows that most employees will adhere to the policy and not question it.”
But you questioned your company’s policy and now you know your employer’s prohibitions could be illegal.
It bears noting that, with limited exceptions, the NLRA applies to all private employers with at least one employee, Donath said. It doesn’t cover government employers. And the law doesn’t generally cover supervisory employees, although managers discriminated against for refusing to violate the NLRA may be covered, Donath said.
As to your last question, your company probably doesn’t have to send you a hard copy.
“I do not believe you must receive a hard copy of the review rather than it being sent by email, unless the employer has a policy that requires you to be handed a hard copy of the review,” Donath said.
Having an email could prove more useful.
“It may be beneficial to you to get a copy by email, because there is always a record of an email,” Donath said. “and it cannot be erased or lost easily, like a hard copy document.”
For more information, contact the National Labor Relations Board, which enforces the NLRA, at 718-330-7713.
Article by by Carrie Mason-Draffen
Options for worker who feels unsafe after reassignment
We were recently quoted in Newsday.
DEAR CARRIE: My daughter-in-law works as a social worker for an agency. For 18 months she treated patients in the office. Recently, her office-based position was terminated and she was assigned to treat patients in their homes. This was considered a new position, and she received a small raise, which she doesn’t care about. She walks alone to patients’ apartments in some rough areas. She remains in their residences for up to an hour, and she feels unsafe. Others at the agency who were likewise reassigned feel the same way. If she quits, will she be eligible for unemployment benefits? — Worried In-Law
DEAR WORRIED: She may be eligible. It’s hard to answer with a definitive “yes” because the issue turns on several variables. For help, I turned to employment attorney Sheree Donath, [ ].
Employees generally qualify for unemployment benefits if they lose their job through no fault of their own, Donath said. On the other hand, employees who voluntarily quit their jobs are generally ineligible for benefits.
Those are the basic rules for unemployment benefits eligibility.
“Of course, there are exceptions, wherein an employee quits his/her employment and still collects unemployment benefits,” Donath said. “In those situations, it is determined that the employee quit with ‘good cause.’ Your daughter-in-law’s situation may fit into this category.”
The unsafe working conditions you mentioned may constitute a good cause for quitting, but employees have to make the case, Donath said.
“In alleging good cause for termination, the employee must first have made good-faith efforts to try and resolve the concerns,” she said. “That means that before quitting, you must report the concerns to your employer (i.e. your supervisor, management and/or through any internal grievance hotline), and your employer must fail to resolve the issue.”
Not making that effort could be costly.
“Without attempting to resolve the problem,” Donath said, “it may be determined that the employee did not have a true desire to remain employed, and therefore the employee may be denied unemployment benefits.”
Also, employees have little room for a good-cause argument when they accept the terms of a job, even some they later regret, she said.
It’s unclear whether your daughter-in-law was made aware of the new terms of her employment when she accepted the new role or whether she has objected to the new terms or requested a resolution of her concerns, Donath said. For example, has she asked to be placed back in an agency-based role or requested that someone accompany her to the residences?
“If she has not done so, I suggest that she reach out to her employer right away and request that she be placed back into an agency-based role,” Donath said.
Your daughter-in-law should put her request in writing — preferably by email so she has a copy of the request and any responses received. She should say in the communication that she is concerned for her safety, that others in her situation are also concerned for their safety, and she should list the reasons why she is afraid, Donath said. She may also want to include in the email a description of the effects, if any, that the new role is having on her health.
“By sending this email she may be able to change her current working conditions to one where she feels safe,” Donath said. “Also, if her request is denied, then she has [something in] writing to present to unemployment to show that she took steps to try and resolve her concerns prior to her quitting.”
Article by CARRIE MASON-DRAFFEN
Bullied Worker Has Resources For Dealing With Boss
DEAR CARRIE: A 21-year-old male relative is being harassed at his part-time job by his new boss. The young man has worked in this union job for close to five years, with all of his previous managers praising his work. The new boss, however, taunts him daily, saying such nasty things as “You are worthless.” Can he record these transactions? He is not the only employee being humiliated. Should he go to the union? — MEAN MANAGER
DEAR MEAN MANAGER: On its surface, this sounds like a classic case of workplace bullying. And believe it or not, neither New York State nor the nation has laws outlawing bullying in the workplace. Still, your relative may have plenty of options for stopping his manager’s inappropriate behavior.
I spoke with a career coach and a lawyer who shed some light on the problem and offered some solutions.
The contemptuous comments directed at your relative are some of the worst examples of classic overt bullying, said Glory Borgeson, a Chicago-area career coach and the author of “Not All Bullies Yell and Throw Things: How to Survive a Subtle Workplace Bully.”
Other overt tactics, Borgeson said, include using ridicule or sarcasm to put down a worker. Covert forms include telling that person his or her work is inferior but withholding information that would allow the person to improve, and creating a work situation that makes it difficult for the person to succeed.
Whatever the case, he should start documenting the inappropriate remarks now, Borgeson said.
“On a Word document, keep the file on a flash drive, not on your work computer,” she said.
And, yes, he should enlist the help of his union.
“When he meets with a union rep,” she said, “he should bring with him (1) copies of the performance reviews from his previous managers that document their praise for his work and (2) documentation of the bullying from the current boss.”
And he should also encourage other targeted co-workers to do likewise, she said.
As for recording the tense encounters, the young man can legally do so in New York without telling the boss.
“Save these files and back them up,” she said.
On a legal and policy note, your relative could find relief under state and federal anti-discrimination statutes or the company handbook.
For example, if the young man and other employees are being harassed because of such things as their race, religion or disability, they might be covered by anti-discrimination laws and could file a complaint under those statutes or could go through a company internal grievance process, said employment attorney Sheree Donath [ ].
If such a scenario doesn’t apply to your relative, then the next step would be for him to check the company handbook or union contract for anti-bullying provisions, Donath said.
If the company handbook doesn’t address bullying, a section on workplace violence, might, Donath said.
“While bullying is not generally physical, but more psychological in nature, there may be language in the employer’s workplace violence policy that can be extended to include your relative’s circumstance,” Donath said.
If all else fails, the young man should still consider raising the issue with management and the union, she said.
But most of all, she said he should act quickly “to halt the effects of his new boss and to end the psychological hold the new boss has over him.”
Go to bit.ly/libadboss for more on the definition of workplace bullying.
Column by CARRIE MASON-DRAFFEN
‘Contractor’ not so independent; may be eligible for unemployment
DEAR CARRIE: I have worked part time at a printing company for about 20 years. I was a regular hourly worker until about eight years ago, when the owner announced that everyone would become an independent contractor. Despite that, I still have to punch in and out, and I continue to get paid-time off, including two weeks of vacation and five sick days. Over the years, the company’s sales have slowed, and sometimes I wouldn’t get paid every week. A few years ago, the company was as many as six weeks behind on paying me. In January the problem started again. After two weeks of getting no paychecks, I had enough and told the company I wouldn’t work until I got paid. The owner finally paid me but said he wouldn’t call me back to work until things picked up. It is now June, and I am still not working. Am I eligible for unemployment benefits, and, if so, did I wait too long to apply? Or am I ineligible because I am an independent contractor? — Benefits Status
DEAR BENEFITS: The key question regarding your eligibility for benefits is whether you are an employee or the opposite — an independent contractor.
“Qualification for unemployment benefits depends on whether there is a true employer-employee relationship,” said attorney Sheree Donath [ ]. “An independent contractor does not qualify to receive unemployment benefits.”
The facts you have provided lean toward an employer-employee relationship.
Regulations that determine whether someone is an independent contractor look at such things as how much supervision, direction and control a company exercises regarding the person and whether that individual receives fringe benefits, Donath said. Those fringe benefits include the paid-time off you mentioned.
True independent contractors are in business for themselves, Donath said. They may have their own place of business; carry their own business cards; set or negotiate their own pay rate; offer services to other businesses, and are free to refuse work offers and may choose to hire help.
“You did not provide any facts to support that you were truly an independent contractor,” she said.
What’s more, a misclassification by your employer wouldn’t disqualify you from unemployment benefits.
Employees “may still be eligible for unemployment benefits if they are classified as an independent contractor,” Donath said.
Though you are probably an employee, you’ll have to deal with whether you in effect resigned when you refused to return to work until you were paid. Generally, people who qualify for unemployment benefits have lost a job through no fault of their own.
But Donath said you may have records that show you didn’t quit.
“If you have emails explaining the reason you stopped working in January and that you did not quit, especially if the decision for you not to come into the office was a directive from the company,” Donath said, “you should provide these with your application.”
If you do not have such emails, perhaps some other records or history of communications between yourself and your employer may help establish that you didn’t quit, she said.
Here’s the bottom line: She suggests that you file for unemployment benefits right away.
“You should explain to the unemployment office,” she said, “that your employment has been effectively terminated as there is no work for you to perform and that your employer has refused to provide you with hours.”
Go to http://bit.ly/LIemployee for more distinctions between employees and independent contractors.
Column by Carrie Mason-Draffen