Put Your Child First this Holiday – Create a Proper Parenting Plan that Takes Into Account Your Child’s Best Interests

Keep Holiday Drama to a Minimum This Year

For most people, the holidays are a time of happiness and family. But for those who are divorced or separated or contemplating a divorce, the holiday season may present many challenges. It is important to keep the holiday drama to a minimum and put the child’s best interests first this holiday season.For many children of split homes, the holidays may mean (a) splitting their time between their parents; (b) being in the midst of their parent’s arguments regarding scheduling of time with the child; (c) stressing about the interaction between the parents as they meet to drop off/pick up the child; (d) missing time with other family members because it is time to go with the other parent; (e) leaving the fun at one house and possibly missing the fun at the other house; (f) not being involved in traditions; and (g) simply being sad that the child cannot spend the holidays with both parents simultaneously.

Despite the relationship between you and your spouse/former spouse, once you have children, their interests are to come first. The child should not feel anxiety or stress because a holiday is approaching and they should not be aware of the parents anxiety or stress. Parents should consider what would make the child happy, not what will anger the other parent most. Remember, that these are lifelong memories that are being built and your child may not remember all of the details of the holidays, but will remember how he/she felt and whether his/her parent made them feel that way.

While your relationship and divorce may be contentious, try to set that aside and focus on your child. Is it best for the child to alternate years with each parent, spending the time between Christmas and New Year’s with one parent one year and the other parent the following year? Or is it better to split the holidays so that the child spends half the holiday week with one parent and half with the other? Or would it be better for each parent to take certain holidays to share with the child rather than shuffling the child mid-day? Would your child be happier to share the day of the holiday, with one parent having the child in the morning and the other having the child in the evening? Are you able to both be in the same place at the same time with the child on the holiday?

There are many factors to consider in creating a parenting plan. The primary factor being what is best for the child. Schedules must be coordinated and worked out, but creating experiences with the child that the child will remember and look back on happily, is the ultimate goal.

So as the holidays approach, do not let your feelings for your former spouse cloud your judgment. Think of what will make your child(ren) happiest.

Donath Law, LLC can assist you in preparing and modifying your parenting plan to put your child’s interests first. and allow you to be the parent you want to be this holiday and for all future holidays.